Evolving Goddess

Practice Radical Self-Love in 2013!

admin — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 12:50:31 +0000

January is the month of self-love! To kick off this amazing month, I wanted to give you a refresher on Radical Self-Love. Radical Self-Love is a concept about loving and accepting yourself so deeply and completely that you create an unshakable foundation. This foundation keeps you solid on the inside so that no matter what challenges you face, you are still operating from a place of peace and inner strength.

No matter how badly you’ve been treated in the past or how much you don’t like yourself now, achieving self-love is possible! I know because I went from nearly 16 years of depression and even suicidal thoughts to a place of deep self-love and acceptance. In fact, when I coach women to achieve self-love, I teach them the four cornerstones of Radical Self-Love. When you take persistent action in each of the following four areas, you will inevitably achieve Radical Self-Love. Let me just note, Radical Self-Love is a practice, not a destination. There are moments when you will feel it deeply, and other times when you won’t feel it as strongly. Nevertheless, by working on the following four cornerstones, you will continuously raise the bar on self-love. It just keeps getting better with time!

The four cornerstones of Radical Self-Love are:

1. Connect to the Divine presence WITHIN you. There is a wise, all-knowing spiritual source that is completely within you. It’s your divine self or Soul. Take the time to cultivate a relationship with that part of you. Instead of searching for the answers on Google or by asking your friends, try to connect with that powerful presence within. The key to connecting to the divine presence within you is to get quiet and really listen. This presence is always talking to you, but you have to be willing to listen to it carefully — it whispers most of the time!

2. Honor Your Body. Your body is a sacred temple. Without it, you would not be able to do or accomplish any of the things that you currently do. Yet, despite how amazing our bodies are, we tend to take it for granted until it stops functioning properly. Instead, cultivate a practice of honoring your body. One of my favorite tips is to take time during your shower to give thanks for each part of your body that you lather. Simply paying attention to each part of your body in a state of gratitude and reverence will work wonders for you! Not only will it improve your mood and self-image, it will also help improve your overall wellbeing.

3. Cultivate Emotional Authenticity. Despite the popular saying that “women are so emotional” there are many dictates about how, where, and when women can express our emotions (e.g., “big girls don’t cry,” “it’s impolite for a woman to be angry,” etc.). The problem is that this prevents many women from feeling free to truly have, let alone express, their authentic emotions. Instead of feeling their genuine feelings, many women try to numb them or avoid them. This emotional inauthenticity becomes toxic. It leads to a lack of clarity, unhealthy behaviors, and a reduced ability to access your logical brain. Instead of suppressing, start giving yourself permission to be really honest with yourself. Spend a few moments periodically through the day to see how you are really feeling at that moment. If you feel the need to cry, give yourself a safe space to cry. If you feel angry, let it out physically by screaming (I recommend in a car with the windows rolled up), hitting a pillow, or simply jumping up and down. The bottom line is that your emotions can be a great asset if you use them properly. If you allow yourself to feel your true feelings, the difficult feelings pass by easily and leave room for your authentic joy to shine.

4. Master Your Mind. The fourth cornerstone of Radical Self-Love is to master your mind. Humans think between 15,000-60,000 thoughts each day. If you have subconscious beliefs about yourself that are negative (e.g., I’m not good enough, I’m not smart, I’m unhealthy, I’m disorganized, etc.), then most of your thoughts will tend to be negative and reinforce the negative beliefs. While there are so many ways to effectively challenge your negative thoughts and reprogram your subconscious mind for positive thoughts, one of my favorites is affirmations. Affirmations are statements made in the present tense that reflect how you would like to feel about yourself. The key to making them really work is:

(1) create an affirmation that negates the disempowering thoughts you have about yourself;

(2) make sure that the affirmation is believable to you (if it’s too far-fetched, your mind will reject it, so take baby steps if necessary);

(3) take a few deep breaths and relax before reciting them in order to allow them penetrate your subconscious mind more readily; and

(4) repeat the affirmations several times each day, especially before going to bed.

Each tip provided in this post only takes a few minutes of your time. This New Year, in addition to all of your resolutions, commit to doing one thing daily in each of these four areas and before you know it, you’ll be a Radical Self-Love machine!

It Takes Courage to Be YOU

admin — Fri, 04 May 2012 15:53:14 +0000

To be nobody but yourself
in a world which is doing its best,
night and day,
to make you everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting.~ ee cummings

It takes great courage to be willing to be authentically YOU. Today, I invite you to take a good hard look at your life and ask, “Am I living MY dream or am I living someone else’s dream?”This question may be too scary for you to explore. Nevertheless, I’m asking you to explore it. Whose life are you living? Are you living the life that your parents wanted? Are you living based on what society tells you is appropriate? Are you living based on what your spouse, partner, kids, friends, clients, colleagues, etc. expect? Do you tend to overextend yourself only to feel exhausted and resentful? Or, are you in true joy?

You were not put on this Earth to live someone else’s dream. You were put on this Earth to live YOURS. There is a vision that was placed into your heart and it is THAT vision that is meant to be manifested. Don’t underestimate how very important that vision is or . . . how very important YOU are.

You are a unique expression of the Divine. You were given those gifts and that vision to be able to let it shine forth fully. If you’re living someone else’s dream, you’re denying an opportunity to fulfill your divine purpose. Let them live their dreams. Give yourself permission to live yours.

It takes courage and boldness to live your true dream. Your vision may ruffle some feathers. It may lead to some temporary chaos. But, it’s worth it. There’s nothing more rewarding than to be true to yourself and to live life on your own terms (trust me, I know!)

So, how do you start to cultivate the courage to be 100% authentically you? Start by getting honest with yourself. Take a few minutes to answer these questions:

1. If I had absolutely no limitations or expectations on me, what would be different in my life?

2. If I gave myself 100% permission to live that life, how would I feel?

3. The scariest thing about living that life is . . .

In doing this process, you start to understand what the vision in your heart is, how it can contribute meaning to your life, and how you are holding yourself back from it. Getting clear on what is going on inside of you is the first step. Next week, I’ll share with you how to start getting over the obstacle so you can step more fully into your courage. (Ladies, if you really want to boost your courage, sign up for BoldHer: Infuse Your Self-Confidence with Laughter & Love Conference – www.BoldHer.com).

You’re Worth It!

annthomas — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 18:50:27 +0000

One of the most powerful realizations I had from watching the transformation in the amazing women who attended the Loving Me Always Retreat is that practicing radical self-love helps you to realize that YOU are worthy. Not just on a surface level — but on a deep, soulful level.

All of us came into this world knowing we are loved, lovable, and loving. Then life happens! We are affected and influenced by people who have been hurt themselves and inadvertently (and sometimes intentionally) hurt us. The result? We start to believe that we are not good enough as we are. We believe that we have to hide certain things about ourselves or contort who we are into something else in order to be loved and accepted. Essentially we believe we’re not worthy.

Well, I’m here to remind you that YOU ARE WORTHY JUST AS YOU ARE!

Yes, you may have hurt people. Yes, you’ve acted in ways that were not in your own best interest or in the best interest of others at times. Yes, you’ve done things that you don’t feel great about. So what? That doesn’t mean you’re not worthy! It just means you forgot who you are. Who you are is a divine, magnificent, powerful beyond measure being.

The way to remind yourself is to practice Radical Self-Love. Radical Self-Love is a process that I created that helps you achieve unconditional self-love and acceptance. The process involves consistently working on the four cornerstones of Radical Self-Love:

1. Connect to the Divine WITHIN you so that you can improve your intuition, manifest what you want, and feel an eternal sense of strength and love.

2. Honor your body temple so that you have a healthy vessel to help you manifest what you want.

3. Cultivate emotional authenticity so that unexpressed underlying emotions don’t derail you or cause you harm.

4. Master your mind so that your mind becomes a powerful ally in creating a joy-filled life rather than tearing you down with judgments and criticism.

Here’s one exercise you can do each day that will help you cultivate Radical Self-Love and improve your self-worth:

Face yourself in the mirror. Look deeply in your eyes each day for at least 1 minute. During this time, all you are doing is looking in your eyes — not just on a surface level, but more deeply. Don’t look anywhere else other than your eyes, especially don’t look at things that you normally criticize. Then silently say to yourself, “I love and accept you. You’re worth it!”

Practice this daily over the next 30 days and watch how much your life transforms. If you are having a particularly difficult time looking in the mirror, then start with 10 seconds and work your way to one minute. Or, start by stating the affirmations with your eyes closed.

For some people, you will feel better and stronger immediately. For others, you may not feel deep self-love or worthiness right away . . . you may even feel worse temporarily. This is because you have underlying pain or hurt that needs to be released before you can welcome the affirming messages (I call this stage the getting your soil ready). Be patient with yourself and your process.

The bottom line is that the more you do this work, the easier it becomes to attract what you want out of life – whether it’s healthy relationships, more success, better health, or all around fulfillment. The more you claim your worth, the more the Divine supports you in that belief!

Remember, you’re worth it!

Do It. Resent It.

annthomas — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 00:56:01 +0000

Have you ever gotten caught in a cycle of doing things . . . then, ultimately resenting it? When you find yourself consistently doing things and at some point resenting having done it, it’s a signal to you of two important things: (1) it’s time to change your inner beliefs that compels you to take action that dishonors your true desires; and (2) it’s time to reclaim your personal power.

Your saying “Yes” to something you don’t really want to do (hence, the subsequent resentment) is driven by an underlying belief that compels you to take the action in the first place. For example, one of my clients had a hard time saying “No” to her clients’ requests to offer discounted prices. She would agree to the discount, then feel devalued and undermined. Other examples include, saying “Yes” because you want to be nice, you want to be liked, you feel somehow obligated (e.g., to your boss, spouse, kids, or parents), or because it’s something important to you and no one else will step up.

The key to tackling the underlying belief that keeps you stuck is to get really honest with yourself. Get quiet and ask yourself, “What motivates me to keep saying “Yes,” when I really don’t want to?” Then LISTEN. Don’t judge or discredit anything that comes up. Just simply observe it. When you feel like no more answers are coming up, ask yourself, “What need am I trying to fulfill?”

Once you’ve identified what motivates you to take resentment-inducing action, it’s time to reclaim your personal power. The resentment is a signal to you that you are engaging in an action that dishonors you or your values. The good news is that you can stop the cycle and begin a new journey that honors you. In order to reclaim your personal power, identify ways YOU can meet your underlying need. For example, if you keep saying “Yes” to friends or family because you want to be liked, then your underlying need may be a desire to feel loved or lovable. Discover ways you can show yourself love. Perhaps it’s learning to say “No,” giving yourself permission to take a break, or pursuing something you’re passionate about.

After identifying other ways to meet your needs, make a two-way commitment. The first commitment is to start saying “No” when you don’t want to do something. It’s perfectly fine to take baby steps here. The key is to work your way toward honoring your true desires consistently.

The second commitment you must make is to take action that fulfills your underlying needs. This is crucial because if you don’t, the void will make it more likely for you to go back into old patterns. Again, baby steps are fine. Just commit.

The more you understand your underlying beliefs and needs and commit to fulfilling them in a way that honors you, the happier you will be. Here’s to a life without resentment!

(Editorial comment: In my humble opinion, the root of what motivates most of us is a deep longing to be loved or to avoid losing love. When I use the term “love”, I use it in the most comprehensive way, including feeling appreciated, respected, honored, desired, nurtured, safe, nourished, and cherished. Somewhere along the course of our lives, we got the message that love is conditional, it must be earned, you must be a certain way to receive it and keep it, and that you have to work hard for it or it will be lost. I believe these are all lies. The truth is that we are already loved and worthy of being loved. It’s not something that can ever be taken away from us. But, when we believe that it can, we end up acting in ways that manifest the belief that love is conditional. You essentially set up the situation that keeps love at a distance.)

The One Affirmation That Changed My Life

annthomas — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 14:01:14 +0000

As you may know, I had a difficult past. No, I didn’t grow up poor, but I did grow up feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere and that something was wrong with me. There were a slew of reasons why I had developed a disdain for myself: living in two separate worlds (an Indian world on the weekends, and an American world during school days), experiencing racism, surviving sexual molestation by an uncle and not receiving support when I told my folks, and losing my connection to family and some friends after I came out as a lesbian. I felt alone. The result: I didn’t like myself much. I didn’t value who I was. I was depressed and angry. I was self-destructive without really realizing it. After all, I could survive in society — heck, I could excel in society (hence, the prestigious legal career). I knew how to try to measure up based on other people’s expectations of me. But it was an inner turmoil that got to me. An inner feeling of emptiness and unhappiness.

For years, I would search outside of myself for happiness. Sure, material things, an exciting romance, or a great dinner out would give me temporary happiness. But, it was short-lived. I’ve done a lot of work to get myself out of a place of self-loathing (no matter how mild or insidious it was) to a place of LASTING radical self-love. Radical self-love means that you love yourself from the depths of your core. It is a self-love that is unconditional — it doesn’t fluctuate if you had a bad day. (Mind you, I’m not perfect — I absolutely have moments of self-criticism and unhappiness, but they are short-lived now.) In fact, I started Evolving Goddess because I want to cut the process shorter for you if you happen to struggle with similar types of issues. Essentially, I want you to live life on your own terms, love yourself, and have unshakable happiness — one that isn’t dependent on circumstances or people.

Although I’ve done a myriad of things to achieve radical self-love, I thought I’d share this one practice that I believe has helped to reprogram how I think and feel about myself. It’s affirmations. An affirmation is a positive statement that is essentially a declaration of what you want stated as if you already have it. The one affirmation that I recite multiple times a day that has changed my life is, “I love you, Ann. I deeply and profoundly love and accept you.”

When I first started reciting affirmations, it didn’t do anything for me. I didn’t feel any real difference. In fact, I thought it was kind of hokie. I even let go of the practice initially and rediscovered it years later. When I rediscovered it, I committed to the practice. I would do it in the mirror and in my car. I had post-it notes in my bathroom to remind me to say them. I’d say them before going to bed. (You get the picture!)

An affirmation is a reprogramming an old message. I didn’t feel a difference at first because my old negative messages took up most of the real estate in my head. They had a stronghold on me — after all, I’d had those negative thoughts for decades! It took time to have the positive, loving thoughts take root.

Here’s my assignment for you: Commit to telling yourself that you love yourself unconditionally multiple times a day every day for the next 40 days. Stick with this practice, especially if you don’t feel anything.

As you fall in love with yourself, your life will fall into place. It’s inevitable. Your reprogrammed mind will not settle for anything less in health, money, career, relationships, friendships, etc.

Here’s to your radical self-love!

Without Clarity, You Fall Prey to Other People’s Agendas

annthomas — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:43:43 +0000

Ever wonder why your life isn’t exactly where you want it to be? Chances are it’s because you don’t have enough clarity about what you truly want. Without clarity, you will fall prey to other people’s agendas.

You may have a general sense of what you want. Perhaps you know you want to make more money or have a fantastic relationship. That’s a great start, but it’s not enough. True clarity is specific. When you are not absolutely clear about WHAT you want, WHY you want it, and HOW to get it, it becomes much easier to get persuaded by another person who has greater clarity than you.

Clarity is power. When you are clear, you are driven by the end result. It gives you the extra push to get you through the bumps and detours of life. No path is without it’s pitfalls! But, when you have clarity about exactly what you want, you can keep your eyes on the prize. For example, during the Civil Rights Movement (the heart of which lasted 14 years!), those who were involved with the cause suffered great setbacks personally and collectively. Yet, they had clarity — they knew that they wanted freedom and equality for all, specifically through the abolition of laws and public and private acts of racial discrimination. This clarity allowed them to achieve their goals despite brutal acts of violence.

If you lack clarity about what you truly want or find that you are not achieving the results that you want in life, I invite you to answer the following questions to help you gain clarity:

1. What do I REALLY want? (It’s ok to be general here. However, answer each of the following questions separately for each listed goal.)

2. List at least 20 words or phrases to specifically describe what it would look like to accomplish this goal (e.g., if your goal is to “find a mate,” then start describing at least 20 characteristics of this mate and how you would feel in the relationship).

3. Why is this goal important to me?

4. How would I feel if I achieved this goal?

5. How would I feel if I didn’t achieve this goal?

6. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), how much do I want this goal?

7. What are the steps I need to take to accomplish this goal?

8. What’s my first step?

9. What would I be willing to sacrifice to make this happen?

10. What are the things that I might do to sabotage my chances of achieving this goal?

The last question may come as a surprise to you. Nevertheless, the power in clarity comes from not only knowing what you want, but how you get in your own way. Once you’re clear about your self-sabotaging ways, you can find ways to address them head-on.

It takes time to get absolutely clear. That’s ok – don’t make it another reason to criticize yourself. Keep asking yourself these questions. Meditate on them. Write them down. Revisit them after some time. Soon, you’ll be crystal clear and manifesting things faster than ever.

May you gain absolute clarity about what you want. Remember, the power is in the specifics. Here’s to living life on YOUR agenda!

The Un-Vision Board

annthomas — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:30:07 +0000

You’ve probably heard of a vision board. It’s a board (or a book) filled with images and words that represent the things that you want. In essence, it’s your declaration to theUniverse of the things that you desire in your life. (To learn more about how to create avision board, check out this vlog.)

But, what do you do when the vision that you had for your life has not come to fruition (regardless of whether you put it in a vision board or book)? Maybe you had a desire to have children, a new career, or a happy relationship, to lose weight, or make more money. You’ve desired it for so long, yet you’ve been unsuccessful so far in achieving these things. In fact, as you think about these dreams that have not yet come to pass, you typically experience negative feelings, such as anger, resentment, disappointment, hopelessness, etc.

When your unmanifested dreams cause you to feel negative feelings, then it’s time to create an Un-Vision Board.

Under the principles of the Law of Attraction, it’s not your desire or longing alone that will help manifest the dream. Your desire for something sets the law in motion. However, if you don’t operate from a place of belief and expectancy that you WILL receive it, then it’s as if you’re telling the Universe, “Hey, cancel that order!”

The challenge is staying in that belief and expectancy. This challenge will be greater for some — including those who suffer from depression, those who were raised by difficult or negative people, those who are impatient, or those who have suffered great or consistent disappointments, to name a few.

Why is it challenging to stay in a place of belief and expectancy that you will receive what you are longing for? Because your mind will start to analyze the situation usingthe tools that it has — it will measure your success using time and space. It will compare you to others. If the evidence that your mind derives from this analysis is unfavorable, then you will start to harbor doubt as to whether your dream will come true.

The Law of Attraction does not operate from your mind. It operates from Spirit, which is infinitely more powerful and expansive than your mind.

The Un-Vision Board is a ritual designed to help you get a fresh start. It’s an opportunity to funnel all of the negative energy around your unmanifested dreams and release it. The purpose of the exercise is to help you get a fresh start.

Here’s how to create an Un-Vision Board:

1. Grab or create a vision board or book. If you already have a vision board or book that includes many items that have not manifested, then use it. Otherwise, spend some time finding images and words that capture your unmanifested dreams and place them on a board or in a book.

2. Energize the vision board with all of your current feelings. Get present with your feelings of disappointment, longing, grief, sadness, anger, etc., at not having these dreams come true. Allow yourself to experience your frustration and impatience. Let all of your feelings come up to the surface. As each feeling arises (good or bad), simply imagine surrendering that feeling to the vision board. By energizing the board with all of your current feelings, you are converting the board to an Un-Vision Board (remember, items on a true vision board can only manifest when you have a belief and expectancy that they will manifest).

3. Destroy the Un-Vision Board. You can tear it up, burn it, or find another way to destroy your connection to those dreams. During this process, more emotions may come up. Allow yourself to fully grieve.

4. Create a ritual. Develop a ritual to help release the pain and disappointment. Much like a funeral, this ritual is intended to be a demarcation point. It’s an opportunity to place final closure on the items that you are releasing. For example, you may choose to scatter your ashes in the river or ocean, while making a statement that you now releasethe past.

5. Breathe and start fresh. After you’ve given yourself enough opportunity to fully integrate the closure, then it’s time to start fresh. Give yourself permission to dream bigger or dream different. Know that you now have a blank canvas before you. From this new point that is free from the old negative emotional attachment, you can now create your new vision. (Yes, it’s ok to include some of the old dreams you had, PROVIDED that you have truly released the negative emotions and are emotionally at a fresh start.) More importantly, you can train yourself to stay in belief and expectancy for this new vision.

Sometimes before you can truly move forward, you have to release the past. The process of the Un-Vision Board is one way to help you grieve and get closure on unmanifested dreams. Now, your past will not hold you back.

Here’s to your new beginning!

How to Live a Life by Design

annthomas — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 05:22:38 +0000

If you are lucky enough to breathe for the next 365 days, then you will have lived one year of life. The choice is whether you live a life that you design or one by default. Living a life by design means that when you are consciously choosing the direction toward which you want your life to move.

By contrast, living a life by default is when you just allow things to happen, without consciously directing your thoughts or efforts toward what you want. This happens when you hear yourself say things like, “Why does this always happen to me?” “I never get any breaks.” Living a life by default also occurs when you live by what other people want. You try so hard to meet the expectations of others. When you find yourself unfulfilling their needs, you may be riddled with guilt.

It’s important to note that to live a life by design you must decide on what you authentically want. What makes your heart sing? What would make you want to jump out of bed each morning? If you didn’t have to worry about money, what other people thought, social status, or anything else, what would your life look like?

Here are a few tips to help ensure that you live a life that you design, rather than living on autopilot.

1. Clarity. The first thing you must do in order to create a life by design is to get a clear picture of what you want your life to look like. Consider all aspects of your life and get as detailed and specific as possible.

2. Take Action. Visioning alone will not help you create and manifest the life that you desire. You must take consistent action steps in the direction of your life vision. Mind you, it doesn’t have to be HUGE steps each time. Start small. Figure out the next best step for you to take today, then take it.

3. Correct Course. As you take action steps, be mindful. Consistently monitor and evaluate whether your actions are serving you. If they are not, take the time to evaluate and correct course when necessary. Don’t waste ANY energy criticizing yourself for not doing things perfectly — you’re human and evolving. The evolutionary process is sometimes messy.

Let me be clear, even when you consciously choose to live a life by design, it doesn’t mean that everything will always be smooth sailing. It’s still life – which means, you will still have ups and downs. But, you know where you are headed, and each step you take (even the side steps that you take to deal with an unexpected turn of events) leads you closer to the vision you have for yourself.

Now, what are you going to design for yourself?

Business of Soul Telesummit

annthomas — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 07:59:09 +0000

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfeFx-d02Lc&w=420&h=315]

In this video Ann talks about her soul languages and how they influenced the creation of The Radical Self-Love system.

Get for more information visit following links :

About Website - http://evolvinggoddess.com/

Evolving Goddess Speech

annthomas — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 07:54:57 +0000

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBI6A5pjH00&w=560&h=315]

Author, Speaker, Life Coach Ann Thomas discusses her book “101 Affirmations for Radical Self-Love”.

Get for more information visit following links :

About Website - http://evolvinggoddess.com/

About Ann Thomas – http://evolvinggoddess.com/about-ann